photobert
2 years ago
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Part 1 of 4 My collected words of wisdom from experience:
We are enjoying our later years in life because we stopped worrying about what others think of us & stopped being pushed around. This was a long process because we were always people pleasers who were concerned about others, before ourselves. If this is you, Stop it! If you treat yourselves badly, others will too. In our case certain neighbors got used to stepping on us to build themselves up. When we stopped letting them,…
photobert
2 years agoPart 2 of 4- they wouldn’t accept the new us, & I got stalked & slandered. Believe me it takes a lot longer for people to accept the new you, than to start strong. It is okay to set boundaries and you should. Those who know me know I really respect Julia Kristina’s (therapist on YouTube) view on this. I just wanted to share this because life is so peaceful now sitting on our front porch, with no one bothering us.
photobert
2 years agoPart 3 of 4 In the past, our wacko neighbors couldn’t stand us having our own life without acknowledging them everyday. Their self esteem was connected to treating us badly so they used to always call out to us on our porch, and I couldn’t come out without looking for them first & waving. Yikes this sounds so crazy now but that was our life. But now we have peace.
photobert
2 years agoPart 4 of 4 Please learn from me, and set your boundaries early on. Disturbed people like those neighbors know who is their perfect prey and who won’t allow themselves to be taken advantage of. Take care of yourselves! 😘♥️♥️♥️💐
Patricia 🇺🇸 (Pat)
2 years ago This is gorgeous. Love the colors. I’m so sorry you had to go thru that with your friends. As a Christian you put others before yourself, BUT you’re not supposed to be a doormat. There are limits. Sometimes finding those limits can be difficult. When friends start taking advantage of you, you set them straight in a nice way or you pull the plug. Sounds like you pulled the plug. It must have been the right decision because now you’re happy. Stay that way my friend!!
🇨🇦 WendyMac
2 years agoShe’s absolutely gorgeous ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
SasciSenior 🧿🌹👑♒
2 years agoBeautiful
photobert
2 years ago@Patricia 🇺🇸 (Pat) In this case, these were not our friends, they were older neighbors who took advantage of a young couple moving to the neighborhood. This started 30 years ago, & we pulled the plug 10 years ago, but they went crazy & wouldn’t let us go. Long story, but all is good now. 🥰♥️♥️♥️
TracyNWOregon🌲
2 years agoShe is gorgeous ...
Truly, you are describing behavior modification 101, but it is so hard to do! There is a reaction often referred to as an "extinction burst" when you are trying to make extinct, a behavior.
People will increase the undesired behavior in effort to reach your reaction again. They learn a breaking point in effort to achieve the same result. The hardest thing to do is not cave in. Once you do, they know further how to work you. But, once you stop reacting,
TracyNWOregon🌲
2 years agothere is no payoff for them. They may try a different avenue, but eventually the behavior is extinguished. Bullies are often narcissistic persons who thrive on attention, and since they don't know how to get positive attention, they seek negative attention. Being narcissistic, they have no conscience about the impact on others, as it is all about them. unfortunately, we live in a culture that protects them and further punishes victims. You are so correct about boundaries ... learn to set them early.
TracyNWOregon🌲
2 years agoWe are taught to not hurt feelings or make waves even at the expense of our own emotional and physical well being. I wrote a huge comment and it didn't take, I lost my train of thought ... lol. Basically, narcissistic sociopaths destroy as they care only about themselves and not the impact of their behavior on others. We have seen the impact of that with #45 and continue to feel it. Psychopathy is dangerous, so stay aware, but keep flexing thos "boundary muscles!!" Lovies😘😘😘
VanillaTree 🕊️🇺🇦
2 years agoGood fences make good neighbours. 😉
This pic is gorgeous, love especially her hair decorations. 😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍❤️😍
photobert
2 years ago@TracyNWOregon🌲 Wow! I agree! It took years to break away & for others to get that the people slandering us might not be telling the truth & they might not be good people. But we are finally free & that journey was worth every minute. And yes they were narcissistic like you say!
photobert
2 years ago@VanillaTree Excellent quote! 🥰 My daughter just told me it was Robert Frost. How wise!
nettie
2 years agoSo absolutely gorgeous my dear friend ❤️
photobert
2 years ago@TracyNWOregon🌲 I discovered with another Recolor friend & with years of experience & samples of their behavior that they had Borderline Personality Disorder. They are sociopaths with no concern for others. Their only goal was to feel good at the expense of others, even if that involved falsely slandering someone. Our home was not our sanctuary for years. We could tell who they spoke to by the weird looks we got from strangers. But all that is over now. We must set personal boundaries! 😘♥️♥️♥️💐
Dolce Vita❤️❤️
2 years agoStunning!!💜💜
Suzie and Mindy
2 years agoGorgeous
MicheleB🌿
2 years ago@photobert Beautiful coloring, my friend. She’s gorgeous!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 Your message is incredibly important. Setting boundaries is something I’ve had a hard time doing until recently. Taking care of yourself first is not a selfish thing. My life is certainly better for it and it sounds like yours is as well. Much love to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 enjoy your porch time ❣️❣️❣️
Yin&Yang
2 years agoStunning 💜👏
photobert
2 years ago